Open Thread

I'm a lazy bastard.

Why

Why do female people think that it's OK to have lollipops when dudes are in the middle of public speaking? Why does this happen to me? When addressing a large group of people the last thing you want to deal with is candy-related thoughts.

Funny Bar Stories

I was at my favorite piano bar and the two following weird things happened.

1) A dude did a certain 1930's hand gesture during Frank Sinatra's "My Way". (I can't mention it due to Godwin's law).

2) There were old people (over 60) when the pianist performed a certain Justin Timberlake/Andy Samberg song.

Why does weird stuff always happen when I'm around?

More songs

I just about know one more song:
Ain't Goin' Down till the Sun Comes Up

I know the right hand part for the following two songs:
Stay (Lisa Loeb must have huge hands)
Let Her Cry

And I know the main chorus part for Ring of Fire.

For those keeping score at home, here is the distribution of songs I'm learning:

Garth 1
Lisa Loeb (I've got a crush on her c'mon) 1
Hootie 1
Johnny Cash 2
NIN 1
Smoky (though I'm arranging it Soul Asylum style) 1

Late Night Shots

If any of my cousins from D.C. are in Late Night Shots, I'll just ask "Could't you find a white hood instead?" Seriously I'd be a little disappointed (still waiting for that invitation guys, heh).

Am I...

...that guy who looks like that guy? I had a woman say I looked like Forrest Gump (but she added that was her favorite movie). Another woman a couple days back said that I looked like that guy from My Name is Earl (Randy, not Earl). Another person said I looked like Nicholson in the Shinning (I don't want to get sued).

Or it could be that women are trying to pick me up: a running tab of the unsolicited complements I've heard:

"Nice Look"
"If I wasn't with someone..."
"You're very handsome"
A woman started pulling my beard.

Mirroring a post on Wonkette (I'm not making this up). A woman used my leg as a scratching post (I stood there in horror but she was kinda cute).

Open Thread

Since there is only so much that one can make fun of Wonkette/Ana Marie Cox.

Late Night Shots

I read about Late Night Shots from that very respected--heh--D.C. News source. It sounds like the end of Western Civilization to me. Why are people morons? And more importantly, where's my invite--heh?

Since there is no comparable organization in Phx/Tempe, I'm inventing one Late Night Sta-Pull. If you would like to join sound off and I will decide if you are "worthy".

Seriously, Late Night Shots sounds like the clan for young people who like #$%^ @#$* (If you can't figure out what that means, go read Wonkette right now and be amazed that there are people more shallow than you --whoever you are).

Piano Repertoire

Here are songs I can play to some degree:

Blue Bayou
Let It Be
Hurt
Get Back
When the Saints Go Marching In
Kumbaya (thus confirming every Joe Klein stereotype)
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Michael Row Your Boat Ashore

Not bad for someone who has been playing since mid-December

Surge

Everybody is commenting on how subdued the chimperor looked last night in his speech. It's my contention that he looked very rehearsed. The reason he rehearsed is because his handlers didn't want him smirking. (Isn't it interesting how Snow talked about smirking a couple days back?)

Swampland

Time has a new blog, Swampland. The problem with it is that it is a very top-down blog. It takes forever for authors to approve the comments (authors approve comments, wtf!?) Say what you will about D-kos (like some of their posters are militant vegans), but their blog is easily the best run political blog on the internet. They are pretty much the reason that old media and Delay are into blogging right now.

Fiesta Bowl

I was at the Fiesta Bowl. Holy #$%^! That was the best game ever. It didn't hurt that I was in the Boise State section. The place was crazy (especially after the 3 trick plays). $8.oo for a chicken sandwich, wtf?

Hottest Arizonan Contest

Please send in your picture of the Arizonan you think has been in the sun the longest. (Maybe I should stop hating on Wonkette--nah, they talk about #$&%#$%^. )

Concert reviews

Here are the concerts I've been to this summer:

Hagar-This was an incredible show!!!! "Mas Tequila" was so over the top. I loved the pinata. "Heavy Metal Noise" was awesome. All of his stuff was great and "Running with the Devil" had me bopping in the seats.

Huey Lewis-This was a show that any aspiring 80's Reaganite Prepster could not miss. They brought down the house with "Back in Time"--from Ronald Reagan's favorite movie (who was the Vice President, Jerry Lewis?)--which they played on an encore. This was an opening act for Chicago, mind you.

Lack of Readership

Since people aren't reading my blog, I guess I could always talk about @#$%^& in strange places. That seems to have secured Ms. Cox a nice position (heh, I said "position" in connection with #$%^ in the #$&%) at a newsweekly to remain nameless. Since I'm a little classier, I will always refer to it as "#$%^ in the #$&%" or "#$&%#$%^". Maybe I could make a living on talking about #$&%#$%^ .

Any other suggestions?

Blind items concerning AZ gossip?
A gratuitous Jesse "the Body" mention?
A detailed account of what I had for breakfast?